“Even when you get married you are supposed to pursue your wife? How will you pursue your wife if you have already married her?” someone asked that one of my posts.
Just because you married her doesn’t mean you stop pursuing her. It’s like saying the wife should stop being attractive and inviting once she gets married.
Here are a few tips on how to pursue your wife.
1. Show interest in who she is. You will never fully know your wife, as she is growing and you are too, there will be new things to discover about her
2. Ask her how her day was. Care about her state like you used to before marriage. Remember this is the mother of your children and the person you are spending life with
3. Notice any improvements in her such as hairstyle, dressing; the same way you used to before marriage. It makes her feel special that you are aware
4. Date her. As in, dedicate exclusive time with to be with her once in a while to bond. Don’t be making time for your friends and ignoring your wife just because you married her
5. Learn new things about her sexually. Explore her body instead of doing the same things and style every time. Show excitement to have her body
6. Praise her and show her that you are proud of her in public the same way you used to brag about her before marriage
7. Chat her up or call her randomly just to check on her or make her smile. Don’t be that man who is chatting up or calling up other women and making them feel special yet ignoring your wife as you think “What for? I will meet my wife at home later”
8. Call her sweet names such as “Honey”, “My love”, “Sweetheart” like you used to before marriage. You used to do this before marriage because you wanted to show her you value her, the motive should not change in marriage
9. Compliment her body that only you have the right to touch. If you find her hips, butt, breasts, vagina, clitoris, eyes or smile sexy; then tell her and make her feel desired. Don’t be silent about the same body that you expect to give you good loving
10. Attend to her emotions. Don’t just focus on being a provider. Whether she works too or you are the only one who works, remember she said yes to marrying you because you cared for her emotions
Pursuit simply means eagerness to please and be around and explore, it shouldn’t end just because you married her. You have to maintain your desire.
To the wives, just because you are now married doesn’t mean you should no longer respect him, excite him, dress to impress him or invite him to a good time with you. You have to maintain the flame.
The unfortunate thing is when the husband stops pursuing his wife and starts pursuing other women and the wife stops impressing her husband and starts impressing other men
© A. O Adesola, Dynamics Marriage Ministry Nigeria.