My Dear Woman

My dear woman, what are you doing? Are you still sitting around waiting on someone? Are you just folding your arms? Are you still depending on a man to cater for you? Where are your dreams? What about your ambitions? Have you find something doing already or you are still relaxing? Am sorry to tell you, you don’t have any excuse to give again! The ideology you believe in is not in the system again! Gone are the days we have full housewife, don’t be deceive! There is nothing full about the house anymore. No man is ready to marry a liability again! They are not after the beauty any longer; it is now these questions, “what do you have to support the family?” “Are you educated or skillful?” even if you are educated or skilled, “are you ambitious?” “ can you bring out something from a little thing?” “can you turn #10 naira to #100?”. This is the world that we are right now. Please, take away the notion that “females are weaker vessels” it is no longer news. Say something new! As weak as we are, we are strong to do big things. We have a lot of females’ now-a-days doing a lot of great things. Take a good look at Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, the director general of World Trade Organization (WTO); she is a Nigerian and a female like you. What about Tolulope Arotile, the first ever female combat helicopter pilot in the Nigeria air force, even though she is dead, her name can never be removed from history. So, what is still keeping you down? You can be part of the good history! I can also be part of the good history. My dear woman, are you still sleeping? You need to wake up and pick up yourself! You have a mission to accomplish. Gone are the days where only male child is entitled to education and work. These days, females are not left out. Your poor background is not an excuse. We have people whose parents died and family turned down becoming successful. Some even finished their education to a greater degree without any one sponsoring them and they have success stories today. In fact, some who don’t have the chance to go school, learned a trade that has made them successful. Prostitution is not an option to conquer poverty. That adage that says “use what you have to get what you want” is talking about your BRAIN not your BODY. Your brain is there for you to think of reasonable things that you can do, that can make you successful. Another adage says, “behind a successful man, there is a woman” not just a woman but a good woman, the one who is not a liability, the one who support her husband with her resources. We have a home, where the woman of the home, that is, the wife is the one taking the responsibilities, like children school fees, feeding, housing, bills, even the both family’s demands. Not because the man, that is, her husband demanded or force her to do so, but situation may warrant it, like husband lost of job, husband getting seriously sick and so on. My dear woman, this woman can’t achieve all these without being ambitious and industrious, if not, the family would have broken apart and the children would have suffered. My dear woman, don’t be part of people that believe the notion that says, “a woman education ends in the kitchen”. Kitchen is just one of your responsibilities not your duty post. Find something doing! Go to school and acquire your degree if you can. If you can not, no problem, it is not by force, you can acquire a skill by learning a trade of your choice. If you can’t also learn a trade, get a small loan, and start a small scale business. My dear woman, don’t only acquire a degree, get to learn something like fashion designing, hairdressing, and so on. In this era that we are, especially in our country, Nigeria, your education alone can’t get you a job. Aside that, when it come to you quitting your white collar job because of the children up bring, you will have something to fall back on. So get yourself vocationally skilled. If you can’t get a skill, no problem, be business oriented. My dear woman, are you awake now? You can acquire properties! Prepare for the unexpected! It is not only a man that is entitles to owning properties, you are also entitling, even if you are not yet married, you can. Don’t let them brainwash you that a lady who is yet to be married should not own properties or can not show off her richness because men will run from her or that it symbolizes pride. You don’t bother yourself, the good man will come and he will even respect you for being successful. Who knows, as a married woman, your husband may die ahead of you and his family might take over his properties without leaving a dime for you and your children or consider you at all. What will you do? Go back to your parents house where you left? You might even be an orphan without any family at all, so you will now start living in the street with your children? Be Wise! Don’t just be thinking of the present time alone, but the future. Don’t use all your money on parties, golds, clothes and other material things. Not that you won’t party or get accessories, but let there be moderation. Instead of buying gold neck chain of millions of naira, get plots of land and build whatever you want on it. My dear woman, let your child or children be proud of you, let them be proud to call you their mother. Be a good example to them. Be the reason why they are dreaming big. Be your female child or children role model, even your male children are not left out. You can imagine how stupid it will sound if they ask your child at school, “what is your mum occupation?” and your child says you are not doing anything, just sleeping and waking up everyday. Don’t say they are young, they see everything and they are very smart. The foundation you lay for them will determine what they will build on it or what they will become. So, lay a good foundation. Make them see you as an hardworking and industrious woman and mother. Make them to boast about their mum. My dear woman, be your parents pride. Don’t let them regret giving birth to a female child. Don’t reward their investments on you with unwanted pregnancy or getting pregnant out of wedlock. Don’t you know that, your parents; sending you to school or getting you trained for a skill is a big risk taken. Because, when a lady get pregnant, she suffer more than the man who impregnated her. You will have to sacrifice your education or training for the child well being. In fact, some don’t go back acquiring their skill or degree again. Your parents will not be happy with you because you brought shame to them. So, instead of shame, bring fame to them, let them be known as the parent who gave birth to a successful woman. Instead of disgrace, bring grace that will make them to be well known for good. Instead of disappointment, bring appointments that will make them visit and shake prominent persons in the society. My dear woman, after becoming successful, don’t forget to treat yourself nice. Treat yourself with honour, but don’t be proud. Take care of yourself, don’t look old ahead of your old age. Dress elegantly and not extravagant. Go on vacations, take your family along. Be the woman that people envy, be a role model for upcoming successful women like you. Don’t be a workaholic, have time to rest, if you have a family, have time for your family. Don’t just be known as a career woman, be a responsible child, a carefree lady, a lovely wife, a caring mother and a socialized woman. Don’t because you want to become a successful woman, now bury yourself in work; life is too short, so enjoy your life. Be a woman full of positivity, you can be the first female president in Nigeria, who rules the country very well.


    1. Thank you so much for reading and your comment

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  1. Hmmm…. … “Kitchen is just one of the woman responsibilities not her duty post,” here is the high time woman need to do more better in supporting or contributing more than what a man can do! What an insightful and inspiring article for young ladies of nowadays calling to womanhood.

    1. Thank you so much for your contribution!

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