The focus of this topic is very important as it concerns virtually everyone except those who choose not to have a marital engagement at all. Marriage involves males and females who have voluntarily chosen to share their life with someone else.
Many people have written about marriage but this column shall examine practical steps to adorable marriage. There are a few terms that I will explain one after the other for a better understanding of the topic.
Practical: This is based on practice or action rather than theory.
Steps: Proceedings; measures; actions; act.
Adorable: Befitting; cute or lovable.
Marriage: The state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life.
Having explained the above terms as touching the topic to be considered. The following steps are essential to having an adorable marriage.
Knowing the author of marriage
Someone may ask this question “is there any reason to know the author or the one who instituted marriage” the answer is Yes. Having the knowledge of God as the one who initiated marriage makes one know what marriage looks like, the characters, expectations, the dos and, don’ts of the initiator. Therefore, every couple or would-be couple must know God. This means believing in God who sent his son Jesus Christ to redeem the world. The thought of God towards the man in marriage has been a good one this is why he said: “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Gen 2:18.
Understand that god instituted marriage for man
Marriage is meant for human beings but it was instituted by God. Both husband and wife should live together in marriage the way God wants them to live, not their way but God’s way. One of the reasons marriage fails is because many couples are not living their lives the way God wants. Many live in their way and fail to keep the standard of God and refuse to keep the rules that guide the marriage. All of these cannot help any marriage. It will only lead to its destruction.
Understand the purpose of marriage
What is the purpose of marriage? The purpose of marriage can be found in Genesis 2:18 where it was stated clearly “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.” Holman Christian Standard Bible states “I will make a helper as his complement.” The challenge discovered by God is the problem of loneliness. God created Adam as the first man, despite that there were other males and female creatures, no other human was being apart from Adam.
To solve the problem of loneliness, God created Eve from Adam’s rib. Individually, couples need to understand the purpose of marriage, both the husband and wife must understand this purpose. The Church should teach the purpose of marriage to parents so that they in turn will be able to teach their children.
Today, some marriages are falling apart simply because a good percentage of the people in the world does not understand the purpose of marriage and when some understood the purpose, they found it difficult to live out the purpose. It must be noted that purpose is the reason behind every action. It is also the motive behind acting the way someone acted.
Understand some wrong and selfish reasons for marriage
There are some delicate reasons some people enter into marriage and these include:
- Seeking freedom from parents.
- Inability to secure a job.
- Some got married because of financial support they are receiving from the would be husband, wife or parents.
Ability to live the purpose of marriage
It is not enough to know the author of marriage, understand the purpose of marriage and but it is very imperative to live the purpose of marriage according to the will of God. There are various things that everyone who desires to marry or the married couples must practice to make their marriage enjoyable.
Husband must leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife so that both the husband and wife can become one. “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh”. Genesis 2:24. This involves leaving but not abandonment. For the husband to leave his parents means physical leaving, thinking as a man, taking responsibility for your home and not depending on your parents for anything as a husband.
Wife must submit to his husband. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord” Ephesians 5:22 (a good wife who desires that her home will be lively must exhibit this character of submission in everything).
Husband must love his wife. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”. Ephesians 5:25
To crown it all, the word of God in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 33 states that “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverences her husband”. Two things are very important between husband and wife as instructed in this passage and these are love and reverence for each other. The Greek word for love in marriage is “agapao” which means to love (wholeheartedly, unconditionally, devotedly). If husbands would love their wives wholeheartedly, unconditionally and devotedly and the wives will reverence their husbands according to the word of God, there is no doubt that their marriage will work and it will be exemplary.
Some characters that can make marriage work
Some weapons are essential for your marriage to be an adorable one:
Couples need several weapons in marriage. The truth is that the devil does not want any marriage to be what God intends it to be, knowing fully that God instituted marriage. The following weapons can be used to conquer the enemy in your union.
The Bible, which is the word of God
Everything under the heavens were made by the word of God, there is nothing created without God’s word. This Word of God is very powerful and its power can be applied to your marriage. You have to read the Bible to know the will of God about your union and claim the promises therein for your marriage.
Almost everything in life needs prayer including marriage. Couples must learn to pray together specifically about their marriage.
Attend programmes that can enrich your marriage. Learn new things that can help you to renew your marriage.
Prayers Points for your marriage:
- No matter what it will take me, Lord help me to love my wife wholehearted in Jesus name.
- Lord help me to reverence my husband and be submissive as a wife in Jesus name
- Every evil wind blowing against my home I command you to be (calm) silenced in Jesus name
- O Lord, remove every root of bitterness in me against my spouse in Jesus name.
- Lord cleanse my heart, get rid of every evil thought in me against my spouse in Jesus name.